tiistai, 11. marraskuuta 2008
First post
Were not gonna make it
Oh, no!
Were not gonna make it
Cause theres a million better bands
With a million better songs
Drummers who can drum
Singers who can sing
Deep in my heart,
I do believe
Were not gonna make it
Oh, no!
Were not gonna make it
Cause we dont have the talent
And we dont have the time
We dont have the patience
And we dont know how to rhyme
No, no, no
Were not gonna make it!
Yes, that song about sums up about 99 % of all the bands I've ever worked with. They don't have any songs. They have singers that can't sing. Drummers that can't drum. They certainly don't have the talent and they don't have the time. They've never heard of the word patience and they don't know how to rhyme.
So there... I guess you get the point by now. There is a reason and a thought behind this blog.
I am a recording technician and producer. Yes, you can say I am just like Timbaland or Rick Rubin. But I don't work with Justin Timberlake or the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I work with the Sleazy Gore Gore Dolls, the Black Throne of Punishment's, the 16 Times The Heartache's and the Pythagoras Beard's of this world. All great promising bands, ...in their own genre, atleast locally, or in their own part of town. You've never heard of them? What? I am sooo surprised.
Well, I am not here to be mean to anybody. Don't want to make fun of anyone or piss on their parade. Just been keeping this inside for so long that I feel it's healthier to just let it all out. I need to use my therapist for even more important matters.
I am a recording technician and producer. Yes, you can say I am just like Timbaland or Rick Rubin. But I don't work with Justin Timberlake or the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I work with the Sleazy Gore Gore Dolls, the Black Throne of Punishment's, the 16 Times The Heartache's and the Pythagoras Beard's of this world. All great promising bands, ...in their own genre, atleast locally, or in their own part of town. You've never heard of them? What? I am sooo surprised.
Well, I am not here to be mean to anybody. Don't want to make fun of anyone or piss on their parade. Just been keeping this inside for so long that I feel it's healthier to just let it all out. I need to use my therapist for even more important matters.
Well, this was just one of those bands. Great plans and big talk about their artistic visions and musical goals regarding the 4 song EP they intended to record. The session was planned well in advance. I think they contacted the studio 4 or 5 months before the session. I heard some demos and remember giving them feedback and a few ideas on the arrangements and even helping them deciding which songs to play. The drum soundcheck went well and everything seemed cool.
I am not sure how to accurately describe the emotion of surprise and bewilderment when you realise that your expectations where just ... wrong.
Ok, So the drummer couldn't drum. The bass player couldn't play. The singer couldn't sing and the lyrics were... um, They were just very far fetched. Wierd, surprising and strange.. No, strange could be a positive thing. I like a lot of strange music. I guess they were just, plain... well, plain. Anyway, a terrible band in more ways than one. They're definitely not gonna make it and I hope you will never come across their music.
Wait a minute... What a strong statement. Let me explain myself.
They reason why I feel morally justified to publicly even mention that someones work of art and musical abilities is lacking, is that I feel my job is to help the artists and musicians in question to develop their skills. I always make an effort to analyze the weaknesses and strength of the artists I work with and I always try to be as constructive as possible. I guess one can argue that doing it publicly is questionable... but I am doing it anonymously so give me some credit.
I mean, I totally respect the desire to create arts. I think it is in fact a basic human right and a very rewarding activity for most human beings. Anyone should be able to express themselves even if they don't have any particular talent.
But, that doesn't mean that I should feel bad for being frustrated when I have to struggle through a session with a one armed drummer and a singer that sounds like roadkill. And I am not talking about Def Leppard here. I wish.
Well. Now the session is done, and hopefully I will never have to hear this band again. No, ofcourse I will.
When they call me up in about 6 months and ask me to record their next masterpiece. And you know what.., I wll probably welcome them with open arms. I am still an open minded person and I hope that if they really put an effort in it, they just might develop into something that vaguely reminds me of a decent band. Besides, I need the money
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